prelogue

zero

intro

my name is samuel liebert but you can call me sammy sam or samuel or liebert or hey you or whatever floats your boat i dont care im too busy being a twink and living my best life this is my magnum opus my masterpiece my gift to the world because this is not just a story this is my amazing life as a proud stud

topics we will cover:

• gambling: i stole my dads id to start sports betting on sportsbook promotions
• friendzones: i got fucking friendzoned so hard
• blood doping: i am a cross country runner

this is just my tip so stay sucked in for this story

one

them hoes dont love you

i may have left the streets but the streets never elft me and what i leant was that them hoes dont love you. the streets killed me. growing up in chraq with my yn bothas king von 🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️2020 this was a big thing. even a seasoned top shotta like me can let my alpha guard down for a girl. not only did i get friendzoned for 3 years, i got cucked the whole time. in the end she ended up with some guy, and the whole time we were friends she was calling them “babe” while i was sitting there like a clown 🤡🤡🤡. but you know what? the streets taught me better. i ain’t mad at her. i’m mad at myself for thinking a hoe could ever love a real one like me.

one point von

my love for the hood

happy birthday to king von rest in power im sure hes looking down at me right now writing this. growing up as the cross roads of addison and western i know the hood inside and out. back when it was the real fellas none of that muslim shit. theres a lot of fake hood in this world but im the only real one really. all the wild shoot outs the pimps and the hoes its a life you posh city slickers could never understand. if you even want to try to start to understand search up crazy story by king von and listen to all three parts. maybe you crackers can start to understand what its like.

two

twinkification

let me tell you about the moment i realized i was a twink. it was a tuesday. i was standing in front of the mirror, shirtless, eating a pop-tart, and i just thought… damn. i look good. like, *really* good. my skin was glowing, my hair was perfect, and my waist? snatched. i didn’t know what a twink was back then, but i knew i was something special, so much so i gooned for 3 hours at pictures of myself!! so i leaned into it. i started moisturizing. i bought skinny jeans. i learned how to do my eyebrows. i was out here looking like a snack, and the world wasnt ready for me. but being a twink is more then being a gay guy, its a status symbol, its a way of life.

two point five

hard work

being a twink isn’t easy, okay? people think it’s all glitter and crop tops, but they don’t see the hustle. the skincare routines. the hours spent at the gym perfecting the twink physique. the emotional labor of being the hottest person in the room at all times. it’s a full-time job, and i’m the CEO of getting pegged LLC.

three

gambling

this was peak sammy sam samuel liebert. i was 16, and after swiping my dads ID i signed up for every gambling site imaginable. fanduel, draftkings, betmgm, stake. not only am i too much of a twink to get a real job, or to actually gamble isntead i use dark horse odds to cover all my bets and only use prompotions. my $2000 bets profited $50 here and there, and soon enough i had made tenths of thousands!!! sadlly my profit could not last forever and i was soon limited on every website imaginable.

three point five

arbitrage

as i explained above, getting a real job or actually playing bets is too much for my autism. after running out of places to promotion farm i switched to arbitrage. same story of covering bets and making $3. this is how i spend my freetime and i refuse to get a job. getting a job is for the not divas among us. only weirdos get a job, i gamble, stay twinkish.

four

run

as a mid xc runner i had to do something after i got pegged by melo for lossing my race, which although i enjoyed it i did need to fix my xc times. the only solution was drugs and blood doping. i started doing tren, much to my dismay as a twink. i had to up my dosage to start seeing changes, which harmed my gooning preformance

day 7 on tren, fentanyl, oxi, moli, and crack

five

failed buisness

after my failed ventures in my personal assistant ballbert and my templated basketbal stats websited i moved onto my next venture, my gridrr clone.

my failed personal assistant

as i explained in my previous sections i needed a venture that would 1. make me hella money 2. get me hella dicked down. i have been working on my new app that is a clone of grindrr. ive wirtten it all in python and andriod studio in ms roscoes class. my idea is as follows, if i can control the supply of thugs in my area i can get all of them, im manipulating the market, im working smarter, and im getting more play then you. using the venture captial of $317.87 generated from my $15k investment into gambling i formed my llc and created my app. the app exploded, and soon i was drowing in thugs. success did not come without its issues, i became so sore i could not run, even doubling my dose of oxi and knocking the edge off with vicadin would not help, i had to give up my life as a goblin to return to my xc career.

manifseto

coming soon, in the mean time please check out my work in crypto.